“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and some other phrases and words are among a number of terms that foreigners simply in Korea learn and one of them is usually the term chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this word in their English sentences without hesitation and employ it seemingly without understanding just what it means. It is probably certainly one of my least favorite words in Korean and I’ll explain why.
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Some years back, I happened to be using lessons that are korean days per week for four hours every day. I happened to be devouring the maximum amount of because I was dating a Korean man, most of my friends were Korean and of course I was living in Korea and I wanted to make life just a bit easier as I could of the language. Prior to taking the classes, I happened to be hesitant and weary of the things I regarded as forced respect inside the rules associated with language, components of the language that force us to show a respect that we may n’t have for someone. Simply because folks are older doesn’t suggest they always deserve respect and also at that point I’d held it’s place in enough situations to learn that a number of, frequently, men simply assumed that i ought to be respectful of these and even though they disrespected me in several methods. Through the classes, we learned simple tips to show my disapproval whenever being disrespected without being downright rude and I also learned how exactly to be more assertive in Korean. One of the greatest lessons I learned, nevertheless, ended up being that We have very nearly no “friends” in Korea. (From here in out “friend” in parenthesis would be the Korean as a type of friend while a freestanding buddy will end up being the English version.)
My better half, boyfriend during the time, and I also chose to have a meet up at the house and invited our close friends that are korean. There were about 10 of us across the table and I also was the foreigner that is only the spot. As of this point, I’d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of his buddies for a beneficial 4 or 5 years plus in my indigenous tongue, we would phone them my buddies. Following the meals ended up being completed and also the plates acquired, we thought a game will be enjoyable. Using what I’d discovered from course on the best way to phone some body by title, we stated, “So-yung-a, do you wish to play a casino game?” utilising the reduced type of the language. I experienced been confidence that is gaining the language and utilizing it whenever i possibly could. There clearly was a gasp that is audible after a matter of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two for the more aggressively conservative people china love cupid in the group told me I couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.
Buddy 1: So-yung is avove the age of you will be.
Friend 2: You can’t state “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than this woman is.
Me: We’re friends though.
Friend 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.
Me personally: just What do you really mean? I’ve known her for decades. She is had by me telephone number in my own phone. She is seen by me a whole lot. Our company is friends and my guide says this is certainly an ending that is appropriate a friend.
Friend 2: No, you can’t be friends because this woman is more than you will be.
Me: we don’t know very well what you’re saying.
Friend 1: it is possible to simply be buddies with some body that’s the same age as yourself.
Me: Well, that doesn’t make any feeling. You may be all my buddies and you are clearly all more than I am.
Buddy 1: We aren’t friends and family.
After that I went along to my space for just a little cry mostly because I became just told I experienced no friends and in addition considering that the language these people were making use of to convey their viewpoint ended up being extremely aggressive and I also don’t handle aggressive situations perfectly. Originating from a teaching viewpoint, aggressively attacking students for making use of a word or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever helps make the pupil respond in a way that is positive. Frequently, the pupil will end up more fearful to make use of the language or make an effort to make use of terms as time goes on unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my “friends” later on that We don’t attack them if they misuse a word, if it is acutely rude, I remind myself so it’s not their first language and I make an effort to assist them to understand just why it might be taken the wrong manner. My “friends” but, are not so patient with my language purchase. I had taken some things and words in the book for granted not realizing they didn’t mean what it appeared they meant though I had excitingly read through my lesson books and went through discussions in my class. Two associated with the more tolerant users of our team came in to calm me personally and explain in nicer terms just what everyone had gotten so upset about.