This effect is called “nurse sleep”.

And of course: unseal surfaces, create green lungs, design surfaces accordingly. “

Sources used: dpa news agency

Falling asleep together and waking up together: The cliché sees happy couples always in bed together. Are separate bedrooms really the beginning of the end of a relationship?

Ten no-gos in sex

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Snoring, restless sleep or a different sensation of warmth: There are many reasons why one of the partners sleeps at night. Separate beds or even a separate bedroom seems to be a good solution for this, but nobody wants to explain it. After all, a shared bedroom with a double bed is part of a happy relationship, doesn’t it? At least couples with separate beds are out of the ordinary. Should you still dare?

Lack of sleep puts a strain on relationships

Reasons for having separate bedrooms can certainly be found: “There are very often complaints about the partner’s snoring,” says Friedhelm Schwiderski, couple and sex therapist from Hamburg. Here it is actually mostly men who are the culprits: “Men snore more often and also louder than women,” says sleep doctor Thomas Pollmächer, chief physician at the Clinic for Psychiatry and Psychotherapy at the Ingolstadt Clinic.

No matter what the reasons are: “If one partner feels constantly disturbed by the other in their sleep, it can put a strain on the relationship,” says Schwiderski. Because he blames the other for his sleep problems.

Do separate beds harm the relationship?

The problem therefore belongs on the table when both are awake: “I wouldn’t give up the shared bedroom too quickly without at least looking for another solution to the problem,” says the couple therapist. First, you should try these options:

Earplugs of differently warm blankets in an alternative room in case the job forces you to get up particularly early

To forego a shared bedroom altogether means “that the partners keep their physical distance,” says Schwiderski. This sets a process in motion “that is difficult to reverse.”

The Berlin psychologist and family therapist Dörte Foertsch sees this as less of a problem: “A relationship can also work with separate bedrooms.” After all, it is part of the essence of a partnership to accept different needs for autonomy.

How to address your request correctly

If you still feel the need to sleep in separate rooms despite the small measures taken, you should explain your motives in an open conversation. “You could put it like this, for example: ‘I just can’t sleep well in bed together. And I don’t want to endanger our relationship with it,'” says the psychologist. Surrendering to a situation that is not good for you – tossing and turning around sleeplessly next to your snoring partner every night – holds much more explosive for the partnership. Restless sleep is also not good for your health.

No sex because of separate beds?

But: It is possible that the snoring noises are not the reason for the desire to withdraw from the shared room. “Perhaps a partner really lacks space elsewhere in the relationship,” says Schwiderski. The shared bed definitely plays a role in a couple’s sense of togetherness, says Johannes Mathis, head of the sleep-wake center at Inselspital in Bern. It’s not just about sex. This even promotes falling asleep and a peaceful night’s sleep. Sometimes the partner lacks other, calming rituals.

Separate beds are not always the solution (Source: gmast3r / Thinkstock by Getty-Images)

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Separate beds are not a solution

Separate bedrooms are not an obstacle in a functioning partnership.cultural narrative essay examples Couples therapist Friedhelm Schwiderski, however, has to consider: “The core aspect of a partnership is to be physically close too.” You can get used to that, “but you do without levels of communication that simply cannot be reached in conversation.”

The consequences of sleep apnea can be dramatic: daytime tiredness, high blood pressure, even heart attacks. Medical professionals have now tested a tongue pacemaker. It could significantly improve the lives of selected snoring patients.

Snoring: Seven tips against the annoying ailment of sleep apnea: Sleep apnea: If your breath catches at night Increased risk: Snoring can trigger cardiovascular diseases

Sleep apnea has an impact on health

Persistent snoring is not only annoying. It can also be dangerous for those affected. Experts estimate that around five percent of the population suffer from sleep apnea. During sleep, the airways narrow so much that breathing stops. Those affected also feel the consequences during the day: blood pressure rises, attention decreases, accidents become more frequent, successes at work are less common.

The tongue nerve is stimulated

Often the cause lies in the upper respiratory tract. During sleep, the muscles relax, the tongue falls back and closes the airway. Doctors suspect that 80 percent of those affected are unaware of their problem. Scientists have long been testing systems that stimulate the tongue nerve so that a basic tone is maintained at night. An international team of sleep researchers has now presented new results in the renowned “New England Journal of Medicine”: According to them, such tongue pacemakers are extremely effective and safe for selected patients.

Pacemaker under the collarbone

For their current study, financed by the manufacturer, the scientists from the USA, Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium and Russia selected 126 men and women with moderate to severe sleep apnea. All patients had in common that the standard therapy, known as CPAP ventilation, was out of the question for them. Before going to sleep, those affected put on a mask that is connected to a device via tubes. A pressure is generated in it which is above atmospheric; this makes breathing easier. However, the hoses and the noises of the device prevent many from an undisturbed night’s sleep.

Overweight as a risk factor

The participants were overweight with an average body mass index (BMI) of 28.4 (normal weight with a BMI of 18.5-24.9), but they were not allowed to be obese (BMI> 30). Four fifths of them were men. Important risk factors for sleep apnea, in addition to alcohol and drug consumption, are above all being overweight, not being physically active enough and probably smoking.

Less tired during the day, better quality of life

Two, six and twelve months after the neurostimulator was implanted, the patients were examined again in the sleep laboratory and asked about their daytime sleepiness. Both subjectively and objectively, the condition of the operated on had improved by the pacemaker: “The patients experienced (…) a significant improvement in terms of daytime sleepiness, snoring and quality of life,” says Kingman Strohl, lung specialist at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland ( USA) and co-author of the study. However, they complained of pain and sore muscles immediately after the operation, and in two of them the pacemaker had to be fixed again. 40 percent of those operated on initially found the stimulation uncomfortable.

Breathing pauses are reduced

Two indices provided information about the nightly breathing pauses. The so-called apnea-hypopnea index (AHI) counts the number of respiratory stops. From an average of 29 dropouts per hour prior to the operation, the frequency fell by 68 percent to an average of nine per hour. The ODI (Oxygen Desaturation Index), which measures how often the oxygen concentration in the blood drops by more than four percent, also decreased significantly. The ODI decreased from 25 times an hour before the operation to seven times an hour after the operation.

Tongue pacemaker already in use

“The results are amazingly good,” says Ingo Fietze, head of the Interdisciplinary Sleep Medicine Center at the Charité in Berlin. He is not involved in the study, but his center has already provided patients with a tongue pacemaker. Other alternatives such as sleeping on your side, a palate brace or aids that increase the pressure in the nasopharynx or prevent the tongue from slipping have already been investigated. “These mechanical therapy options have shown an average reduction in the AHI of 50 percent,” said Fietze.

Niche therapy with a big impact

“Nevertheless, the stimulator remains a niche therapy for selected patients,” emphasizes Fietze. Because the study has one important limitation: Due to the pre-selection of the test subjects, it does not provide any information about who the pacemaker might still be suitable for and who it does not help.

However, in a small follow-up study, the authors checked what happens if the patient no longer uses their stimulator after a year. To do this, they divided 46 of the test persons into two groups, 23 of which switched on the pacemaker at night, while the other 23 did not. In the first group, the nocturnal pauses in breathing remained at a similarly low level. In the second group there were again 26 breath stops per hour without the stimulator – a similarly poor result as before the therapy.

The costs amount to more than 10,000 euros

The authors of the study now hope that the US health authority FDA will give the system a positive rating. There is already a provisional approval in the EU. “Whether a health insurance company pays the costs is always an individual decision,” says Fietze. According to experts, the device and the operation cost more than 10,000 euros. For comparison: CPAP devices are available for several hundred euros.

Snoring can become a real stress test for any relationship. Because while the loved one is slumbering blissfully, the partner is desperately wrong. After all, snoring can be up to 90 decibels loud. But why doesn’t the snorer himself wake up to this noise? The answer has evolutionary origins.

We wake up in danger

Apparently we can distinguish between important and unimportant sounds while we sleep. For example, we wake up immediately when the children move. On the other hand, we do not react to louder noises, such as car noise or our own snoring. This effect is called “wet nurse sleep”. Scientists suspect the origin of this ability in the time when our ancestors slept in the savannah and had to wake up in danger. For example, when a predator sneaks up on you.

This is how the snoring sound is created

The reason for snoring is usually simple. Most people only snore in the supine position. In this position the soft palate sinks back. Since the entire musculature and thus also the muscles of the palate are relaxed during sleep, the soft palate can flutter back and forth with every inhalation and exhalation. This creates the typical snoring noise. The second cause is the tongue falling back, which favors the sound.

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In old age women catch up

A majority of the snores in a relationship are men. Few of them suffer from their partner’s snoring noises. But that changes with age. As women get older, they snore more themselves. Some of you can avenge yourself for countless sleepless nights.

The problem can be solved with the right diet

In addition to age, other factors also promote snoring. These include being overweight, alcohol, and high-fat meals. One can get a grip on the problem with a healthy diet. For example, snorers should avoid hard-to-digest and high-fat food in the evening. A digestive tract in full swing makes it harder to fall asleep. A better dinner would be light, low-fat foods like salads, whole grain breads with light spreads, and vegetables. In general, vegetable fats are healthier than animal fats. Since it is mainly overweight people who snore, diet combined with exercise is a very effective measure. Instead of a radical crash diet, however, you should start changing your diet slowly in small steps. How to avoid the yo-yo effect.

Alcohol and pills make us snore

Another cause of snoring can be alcohol: it relaxes the muscles of the throat. So if you want to sleep in peace, you should avoid the glass of wine before going to sleep and no longer drink alcohol for at least four hours before bed rest. Sleeping pills and tranquilizers also have a relaxing effect, making you snore loudly.

Measures for hardship cases

If the above measures do not help, you must take other measures. If your health is impaired by snoring, surgery may be necessary. This can also include sleep apnea. She has dangerous breathing pauses during sleep. In the worst case, these can even be fatal. During an operation, the uvula is partially or completely removed with surgical knives or laser beams. The tonsils are often removed during this procedure. The success rate is high. In over 50 percent of the patients there is a significant improvement in snoring, and in another 40 percent there is a moderate improvement. Those who shy away from an operation can try anti-snoring devices. Splints, oral atrial plates or breathing masks are usually very effective. However, they are often inconvenient and difficult to handle.

Snoring can be uncomfortable – especially for your partner